joyce's life.....

stress and pain..

2010-05-12T14:31:00.002+08:00

MY HAND....
It's getting pain and pain this few days... what happen again...
It didn't pain for few months already...
Is it because of weather, because the weather over here is getting cold...
Is it because i used it too often and makes my hand feels the burden...because i was do a lots of typing work before...
Dont really know... Hope it can heals faster la....Dont pain again..
My friends, I know you guys are worrying about it... dont make it so serious ok... take it easy.... give my hand sometimes... Maybe it will heal by itself... wakaka.... Actually, i dont feels that it will fully recover already.... What i can do is just increase the strength of my hand, to make it not get pain so easily... make it "stronger".. haha... as long as it is not deformity, It's okay for me... lolz...

STRESS...
Last two weeks, I did a lots of tasks, all of its make me feels tension, busy and stress... huh...I never feels so stress for for the past two semester... but, this semester, those tasks really make me crazy.... What a crazy course, am i doing???? really lost....
For this week, it supposed is a "relax" week for me... but it just a illusion... finally, the CIC meeting bring me back to the reality... Today, I just realize that my average score for last semester just around 71... phew... nearly cannot continue my course.... So, I needs to work hard this semester to graduate from CIC... I needs to score another 70 average mark to continue the course... Why the course got those conditions to continue makes my feels so stress....

But even i needs to work hard doesn't means i needs to spend all my time to study... I still can hang out with friends and play with them... Actually, I needs to spend my study time more efficient and concentrate on it... haha....

short note for recent days...

2010-04-01T17:56:00.003+08:00

I am a laziest person in the world I guess.... I takes a long break since last post... 1 month time... haha....

1 month time passed too fast, seems like I havent do anything after I came back.... haiz...

The last few weeks, I was spend all my days for lectures, seminars, gym sessions, hang out with friends, gaming and ....... I also dont know already... I think that's all for me... wakaka....

The tuition weeks for this semester passed 4weeks out of 12 already... I can feels all those units are quite hard for me, most of the things are strange for me.... aarrgghh.. It's force me to work harder and harder.... because I should be pass all the units to complete my diploma and go into the university next semester.... Joyce... should be work hard aahh... dont be lazy.... haha...

I forgot to upate my details for all of you about I move out from the house which i had stay last year and moved to my house which I am staying now... The house is bigger than last time, and I share it with my friends... So, I dont stay with the house's owner already... I am free now...And I have nice housemates as well.... wakaka...

But, after I came back, I feels very boring even I have my own car and free now... haiz.... Perth.... When Perth can be a interested place aahh... I needs some fun and entertainments la.....

Ohhh...

The big events happened lately:

the thunderstorm was "attack" Perth last 2 weeks... It's a big news, because it's makes whole perth city choas, all networks, electricity and traffics are affected and many trees were fell down.... AND HAILSTONES..... As a result, UWA's library was flooded, the mirrors were broken, most of the cars were broken as well.... The most important one is my house was blackout for 35hours..... what the hell.... It really make me crazy.... You can't imagine how we live those days.... fortunately, nothing happen with my car(my beast)... wakaka...
Another one is celebration for Wee's birthday.... We gave Wee a big surprise and the surprise was very successful... perhaps she likes it... and we had our dinner in a Thai Restaurant... It is a great day for me as I am long time didnt join them..... wakaka.... The peoples join the celebration: Wee, Jack, Raymond, Jayson, Desmond, Caroline, Mandy Liz and me...
This two weeks is my tuition free week... this is the important one for me because I needs more time to adapt my uni life after 3 months holiday... but I still think after the two weeks time, How i can survive... I will have a straight 8 weeks tuition week... Dont have any holiday for me to do my assignments and prepare for the tests... haiz.... I really dont know how i can make it as I will have many assessments and assignments this sem due to the less contact time... Stop thinking about it... because I can imagine how terrible is the condition for that time...

Okay.... My report for this time will end here... Hope all my friends are fine and take care urself...

bye bye...

烦人的十五。。。

2010-02-28T22:16:00.006+08:00

好久没有update我的blog啦。但是还算是件不错的事啦，证明最近没有让我不开心或让我特别不开心的事。。。

不过，今天的所有真的让我很烦心。。。我最近买了新车，原本是件开心的事，不过现在却给我带来麻烦。。。唉。。。。真让人哭笑不得。。。

我明白，我不把车子借给你，"你们" 都不怎么开心，尤其你在之前那段期间帮了我不少忙。

是的，我欠你人情，在你的立场上，我理所当然把车借给你。但是，你有没有想过我的立场呢？

人情，我可以还，任何方式都能，甚至我可以接送你，但不至于把车借给你吧。

希望能明白我的处境。如果是我的错，那我献上歉意。因为我明白，可能我再怎么解释都没有用。

原本我以为我们的友情是坚固的，原来是不堪一击的。

原本我以为我们是彼此了解的，原来是我一厢情愿。

原本在乎的我，已经放开了，不是我的意愿，而是我觉得太累，太烦了。

当你们准备好时，在暗示我吧。

我不知如何用言语来表达，所以只好用写的。

我会这么直接因为我把大家都看成好朋友，因为只有好朋友能彼此坦诚，普通朋友是不会的。

×宁静的周围，弥漫着不宁静的气息。

无题。。。

2009-12-17T15:29:00.002+08:00

好久没有update我的blog哦。。没什么心情啊，而且没什么特别或重要的事发生。。。呵呵。。。假期一个月左右了，感觉真的闷透了。。。一个月里，没有做到什么，就只有吃喝睡拉。。。真的无聊。。。

现在的我，好想快点回澳洲上课哦。。。虽然，上课的那段期间会很累很压力，不过至少充实吧。。。但是回去后，又不能和家人很老朋友聚在一起。。。真的很矛盾哦。。。

有一件事可以分享的就是我的成绩啦。。。 wakaka。。虽然不是很好，不过还可以啦。。。没有太差的。。。这次的数学科终于如愿以偿拿了高分。。。哈哈。。。真开心，因为上学期考得很烂，进步啦。。。。。

压抑与愧疚。。。。

2009-10-20T18:05:00.002+08:00

来了这里差不多十个月了。。。在这里获得的真的很多，但是失去的也不少。。。

这些日子里，我没有了自己，那个脾气比较坏，心直口快，我行我素的我不见了；反而变得比较平静，沉闷，忍气吞声的人，都戴着假面具做人。。。因为，我不想把我的性格赤裸裸地呈现在朋友面前，不是不相信你们，而只想保留一些距离美，因为我知道一旦距离没有时，很多问题会一一浮现，伤害往往就在此时造成的。。

与其说不见，不如说是压抑吧。。。因为我心中的那团火不曾熄灭过，我只是一直在压着它。。。来到这里，我把一切都压抑在心里，我不对别人发脾气，遇到再不爽的事都可以不以为然，但是默默对自己发脾气。。。即使再这么担心或不安时，都不会写在脸上，以我的手腕当着例子吧，每次它痛时我都说没事，但是心中的忧虑谁能看出，我知道那不会是一件小事，我知道它慢慢在局限我能打球的能力了。。。。

我始终是人，能控制的情绪始终是有限的，控制能力也随着时间变得越来越沉重。。。十个月以后的日子，我开始感觉到失控了，我开始压不住我的情绪了，也开始累了。。。而且我知道，那团火苗越来越容易被燃起了。。。我太了解我自己了，当那团火苗燃起时是很难收拾的，是个很难搞的人。。。我真的很担心。。。。很想赶快会家乡去。。。。

其实，steamboat party 那晚，我开始有点失控的。。。所以啊，要跟mon还有pat 说声sorry 哦，隐隐约约记得那晚说话的语气不是太好。。。现在想起真的很不好意思，因为真的很小事而已，真搞不清楚为什么那么激动，控制EQ能力真的差。。。哈哈。。。原谅我啦。。。哈哈。。。

A meaningful mail ...

2009-10-08T15:15:00.003+08:00

1.进入大学，你的所有过去对于他们来说是一张白纸，这是你最好的重新塑造自己形象的时候。

2.大学可能有真实的爱情，但只是可能。很多时候他们是因为别人都谈恋爱而羡慕或者别的原因而在一起。

3.你在大学有很多意外用钱的地方。为了你的家人和你自己的前途，永远别乱花钱。

4.你大学的朋友很可能就是你将来事业的一部分。他们会帮助你。但是你也应该让自己有能够帮助他们的实力，所以，你要努力。

5.很多事情当你再回忆时会发现其实没什么。所以，不管你当时多么生气愤怒或者别的，都告诉自己不必这样。

6.学习，永远不要忘记。如果你学习失败了，你就什么也不是，当然，也不排除意外，但问题是，你会是那个意外吗？

7.别说脏话，你应该知道习惯的力量。你随便的一个字或者几个字会让你在别人心中的形象大打折扣。

8.好好利用在公共场合说话的机会，展示或者锻炼。

9.别为你自己和别人下定论，这非常重要。你所看到听到的可能只是一面。

10.如果你发现很久了你一直是一个人去食堂吃饭或者去上自习，别在意，大学里一个人是正常的。

11..很多事情别人通知你了，要说谢谢，没有通知你，不要责怪，因为那些事情你其实应该自己弄清楚。

12.“我请你吃饭”之类的话永远不要乱说。

13.尊严是最重要的，但在大学里，要懂得利用这个空间锻炼自己，让自己的尊严有足够大的承受力。除了你自己，没人会为你保留它。社会是一个最喜欢打碎人的尊严的地方。

14.大学是亚社会，当你上了高年级后，要让自己有大人的形象，大一的孩子看到你，你要能让他们感觉到你是他们的学长，你很成熟。

15.你有足够的理由佩服每天早起的人，不信的话，你去做，做到后会发现有很多人在佩服你呢。

16.经常给家里打个电话。

17.你可以有喝醉的时候，但是你要明白和真正的朋友一醉才能让伤心事休，否则，你只会是别人的谈资和笑柄。

18.如果你三/四年内很少去图书馆的话，你就等于自己浪费了一大笔的财富。

19.不论男人还是女人，如果在大学里还把容貌当做重要的东西而过分重视的话，可能不会吃亏，但是早晚会吃亏。

20..新学期如果你接新生的话，当被问到学校怎么样之类的问题时，你要记住你不但是这个学校的一分子，你更要给学弟学妹带来信心，你走过大一，你应该知道那时候对学长的信任多深。

21.别迷恋网络游戏。千万别。永远别。

22.“我爱你”。别对很多人说这句话，在大学里，希望你只对一个人说，这是尊重你爱的人，更是尊重你自己的感情。

23.在大学里，你有足够的空间承受失败和打击，因此，你真的应该找找自信和自傲的区别，可以用一辈子的。

24.如果你的个性让很多人对你敬而远之，那么你的个性是失败的，个性的成功在于能吸引，而不是能排斥。

25.如果把上课不睡觉当做一种锻炼并且你做到了，那么，你将会很强。

26.学生会的主席之类的干部，如果你尊重他们，告诉你自己那是因为他们是你的学长而不是因为他们是你的上级。

27.别怕丢人，那是一种成功的尝试，不要笑话那些上台丢人的人。

28.从绝望中寻找希望，人生终将辉煌。

29.如果你不抽烟的话，你的精力将会比抽烟的时候好。

30.你的确要学会有心计，但是永远记住，要胜利的唯一的方法永远只是:实力。

31.面对不公平的东西，不要抱怨，你不如去努力奋斗，争取你自己最合适的公平。

32.人生百态，不要对新的看不惯的东西生气，无所谓的，比如说恋人同居问题，这和我们很多人无关。

33.记住:为自己设定一个远大的人生目标，并终生为之奋斗。

34..在大学里就开始训练自己的冷静力，这是一种能力，有大事时，能安静并能快速想出办法的人，很厉害。

35.大学的竞争范围是所有的大学生，所以，你知道是否敢放松学习。

36.大了，成熟了，稳重了，但是这和激情不矛盾，一种对工作和学习的冲击力及持久力会让你有特殊的魅力。

37.记住，即便你是学生会主席，如果你的四级没过，没有毕业证，仍然不会有单位想要你。单位需要的是工作的人而不是当官的人。

38.永远不要嘲笑你的教师单调，因为有一天现实会让你为这种愚蠢付出代价。

39.不要幻想自己能成为招聘会上的宠儿，很快你就会明白:百分之七十的初中生都可以上大学。

40.英语一定要学好。

41.你可以看不惯一些东西，但是你应该学会接受，如果你没法改变那一切的话。

42.对陌生人，或者把对方当做一张白纸，或者把对方当做你的朋友，总之别当做敌人，即使你听到再多的关于他(她)的不好的传闻。

43.爱你的人，不管你接不接受，你都应该感谢对方。

44.每个星期一定要抽时间出来锻炼身体的。好处多多。

45.如果有人嫉妒你，你可以把他从竞争者之列删除了。怀嫉妒之心者，难成大事。

46..别去争论，人不可能赢得争论，可以说，争论所提及的话题都是不值得去争论的。

47.成功的方法多种多样，别不接受你看不惯的方法。

48.男人，你长得可以不帅，但你这个人必须帅，而且，那才是真正的帅。(当然，女人也是同样的道理)所以，不必在穿着打扮上花太多心思。

49.别以为在学生会你能得到你曾经想要的。工作的热情很可能因为你所看到的所经历的一些事而改变。

50.文或武，你总要有一样。样样通样样松都是禁忌。样样通几样更通方是境界。

51.还能冲动，表明你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表明你还不懂生活。

52.如果你不能拥有，那么告诉自己别忘记——如果你能承受那伤痛的话。

53.虽然班级的概念在大学并不明显，但是也别忘记，你的同学你的朋友。

54.准备考研，早点比晚点好。

55.别抱怨四级六级，那是证明你能力的很好的东西。

56.要有精英意识，考虑一下，大学的人了，迷恋武侠和言情，已经没有任何意义。

57.莫过于耿直，莫过于圆滑。外圆内方是一种视野，视野决定着境界。

58.大学的手机是否应该用只有自己有答案。

59.永远别渴望做个谁都不得罪的人，在反对和支持声中自己做出决定才精彩。

60.要有魄力，即使是失败，也不要让自己的人生平庸。

61.喜欢一个人，就勇敢地告诉他或者她。大学是学习的地方，但是我理解爱情的力量。

62.应该相信一句话:没有不可能的事情！只要去做。现在我们是学生，十年后呢？

63.不要总想是否能成功，既然选择，便当风雨兼程。

64.后悔，它是一种耗费精神的情绪，后悔是比损失更大的损失，比错误更大的错误。所以不要后悔。

65.我们确实活得艰难，要承受种种外部的压力，更要面对自己内心的困惑。在苦苦挣扎中，如果有人向你投以理解的目光，你会感到一种生命的暖意，或许仅有短暂的一瞥，便足以使我感奋不已。

66.每个人都有潜在的能量，只是很容易被习惯所掩盖，被时间所迷离，被惰性所消磨。

67..相信时间的力量，可以冲淡很多东西。

68.记住:目光要深远。你的目光看多远你就能走多远。

69.人生有很多次如果，但是，没有一次“但是”。

70.永远不要瞧不起大学里的贫困生。

71.在大学时代看看学校的招聘会吧，你会感觉到一种前途的危机。全是人，全是人，全是人……

72.越大，我们就会发现对与错越是那么不明显，这不是错，这是事实，而且无法改变。

73.记住结交每一个值得结交的朋友。

74.无聊的时候，别忘记朋友。朋友无聊的时候，别忘记你是他们的朋友。

75.如果你没有珍惜大学这三/四年，你一定会抱憾终生。

心在说话。。。

2009-09-29T21:30:00.002+08:00

很多时候快乐的事总是能概括不愉快的事，但是在夜深人静的夜里或是一个人拿起酒杯时，很多伤口都会赤裸裸地在脑海摊开。。。

我不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。。。说的容易，做的难。那一段短暂而没有承诺，刻苦铭心而没结果的情，即使能潇洒的放手，但伤口偶尔还是会隐隐作痛。。。

人生不是每天都是开心的，也是有低潮期，但是渡过了就会发现收获到底远比想象的多，一定要相信明天会更好。。。

I'm back....

2009-09-19T13:53:00.003+08:00

I'm back after "disappear" from this blog for a few weeks... haha...

I don't update my blog for these few weeks, actually not exactly because I am busy with something or I am not free, even though i am busy in the my life (hehe...), but the main reason is i don't have mood to update my blog (maybe the other way represent it is I am "lazy".. haha...).

How was my life?
The life for these few weeks, nothing special for me still remain the same.

What i was done in these weeks?

I done my Econ report. I finished it by using two weekends, so the progress is quite fast and efficient. haha.....
Attend the Econ Mid term test. I think this is the worse thing which was happen in these weeks. The result is not too bad, but out of my expectation. And it really make me feel stress with that unit. Because the result will induce I needs to work harder and harder in the final exam, and cannot make any big mistake, otherwise, I will "die".. hehehe.. God Bless me...
I also attend the Asia Cocktail Party last night. It was a big event, quite enjoy with it. Actually the main is Friends. So, if they are enjoy with it, then I am.

What is the big news for me recently?

The novel "The Lost Symbol" written by Dan Brown launched few days ago. I am so happy with the news. Actually I knew the news accidentally. The day, I suddenly read the newspaper which belongs to my friend. Then i get the news from it. haha.... I am Dan Brown Fans... Yesterday, I am going to buy it, but i forgot. aaarrggghhh... How come I can forget about it. Haiz... so sad.. My weekend plan cannot carry through because run short of it. Haiz.. But, i will going to buy it soon... Hopefully I can buy it next week... I cannot wait even a minutes to have it now... haha...

What i am worry about?

The answer is my group assignment for Principle of Actuarial Science unit. It is a difficult assignment for me, but we haven't start it yet. We just left one month, It looks likes a long period, but we cannot spend all our time in this assignment for the month, because we need to prepare our final exam soon. Haiz... really worry about it. I really dont like last minute work.

What is the problem i faced now?

Insomnia. This problem bother me for few weeks already. I think it is because of Stress. I really dont know how to overcome the stress now. I feels stress because of the course requirements, my own and my parents anticipant, the assignment, and my personality(too aspire after perfect).

What I can do in my life now.. I really blankly... Who can help me settle all my problem now... I will married with him.. Haha.. the last sentence sure is kidding one.. wakaka...

Hope all can be alright soon...

睡不着。。。

2009-08-30T02:26:00.003+08:00

现在是半夜两点多了，还么有睡意。。。真麻烦。。。今天早上还要morning call 朋友呢。。。haiz。。。
去看了很多娱乐新闻，其实都在看卓义峰和张靓颖的啦。。。哈哈。。。

今天，星期日了。。。free week的最后一天。。。但是，基本上我还没开始做我所有应该做的东西。。。haiz。。。assignments 和 tutorials questions 还是原封不动。。。醒来后，必须要努力咯。。。

一个星期的假期，我做了些什么？？？哈哈。。。答案是：玩和relax。。。娃哈哈。。。过分吧。。。还好啦。。。
这假期，我去了 north 的pinnacle，south 的 margaret river，mandurah，augusta。还不错吧。。。呵呵。。。

最近看会我之前写的blog，发现我的华文程度真的越来越差了。。。真的sad啊。。。可能因为很少写和应用了吧。。。haiz。。。。在这里都在说和写英文啊。。。没办法咯。。。。

好啦。。在这里停笔吧。。。这个blog很无聊。。。写写有的没有的，为的只是打发时间而已。。。还是赶快进入梦乡吧。。。

Quote for Today：
在自己的心里围上一道厚厚的墙，让那倒墙保护自己那脆弱的心灵，不要让所有事直接投射在心中而再次造成伤害，也不再让心再次淌血。。。
从今天开始，学会保护自己，不管是physically or mentally。。。

过去啦。。。

2009-08-24T00:48:00.003+08:00

一切都过去啦。。。我的生日也过去了。。。

这个生日过的还不错，不单只有celebrations，还领悟了蛮多东西的，也想通了。。。

这个生日，泪水依然还是前来祝福我。。。希望下一个不会了。。。哈哈。。

但是我的泪水就是我的收获。。。我领悟到，友情不是一厢情愿的东西，不然它将会是伤害到你的一个刺。。。

也许我真的太天真了吧。。。以为，短短的几个月友情也能成为我心中的那种good buddies。。。不可能。。。因为，原来我们是普通到不能再普通的朋友。。。一切营造出来的，只是一种虚幻的气氛。。。别傻了。。。

但是，我原本就是很重友情的人，当跟一般人混熟了，就会不知不觉对这份友情付出很多，而且是比想象中的多。。。盲目的付出，就是会造成伤害的点。。。因为你根本不知道别人会不会珍惜，也不知道是不是由始至终都是你一厢情愿，可能别人根本没有把你放在眼里。。。

伤害的起源是因为我想在这段友情里得到的回报。。。但是结果是什么，根本无法推测。。。要到了关键性的那一秒，才知道答案，可能那时候已经遍体鳞伤了。。。

所以呢。。。我应该要取得一个平衡点了。。。因为，我不想再有任何伤害。。。

我想了很久。。。觉得应该再也找不到可以像sali，静薇，嘉薇，dez，jayson，Caroline，凯文，mandy 那种友情了。。。即使不常联络，可是感情还是能维持。。。即使是拥有距离的问题，还是能了解对方，关心对方。。。

其实不是要做比较。。。也不是以有没有帮我过生日而判定朋友在我心里的地位。。。
而是想要比较合理的回报。。。而是将心比心，谁在这段友情表现出诚意。。。。

算了吧。。。现在的我要改变了。。。彻彻底底的改变。。。不可以有任何的藉口，只能努力地完成。。。

生日啦。。。

2009-08-23T17:45:00.004+08:00

生日啦。。。。
今天可是我的大日子呢。。。。。
我从今天的凌晨十二点开始就在庆祝了。。。

我在metro过了第一个生日celebration。。。跟mon，vel，jessica ee，jessica ，henry and etc。他们想灌醉我，没那么容易。。。哈哈。。。不过蛮开心的。。。真的是很难忘。。。我没试过在哪里可以那么疯。。。哈哈。。。

然后今天早上又去了吃点心。。。跟jayson，dez，mandy，嘉薇，caroline，凯文。。。一直刚才才回家。。。跟他们呢，感觉就是很亲切。。。基本上gathering性质大过于celebration。。。不过就是喜欢那种感觉。。。。你们还买了蛋糕。。。真的很感动。。。。哈哈。。。没想过还会有蛋糕。。。哈哈。。。

晚上呢。。。应该没节目了吧。。。今天早上才回家，睡了四个多钟，又出去了。。。有点累，而且昨晚喝了蛮多酒的。。。。而且基本上也没什么节目。。。

这个生日，还有一个值得欣慰的是，我竟然还可以和sali一起度过十二点呢。。。虽然只是webcam啦。。不过已经胜过于没有了。。。哈哈。。。

其实，这个在perth的第一个生日。。。真的很有意思，真的蛮开心的。。。很多人wish我。。。真的很感动。。。但还是有遗憾的，而且搞得我真的有点失望。。。。可能是我要求太多了吧。。。哈哈。。。没关系啦。。。生活就是因为有遗憾而留下回忆。。。

对了。。。还有，我要谢谢mon，jessica ee，vel，jessica，henry，jayson，caroline，嘉薇，凯文，dez，mandy。。。谢谢你们哦。。。陪我渡过生日。。。。
当然少不了全部祝福我的朋友啦。。。。。也谢谢你们。。。。

Joyce。。。享受你的生日吧。。。它将在短短的六个小时内结束了。。。。

“老”朋友在。。真好。。。

2009-08-04T20:34:00.003+08:00

一天又要过去了。。。今天，对我来说应该是重逢日吧!!! haha... 但是，如果你问我做了些什么，说起来真的很少，只去上了一堂课和做了MATH103的assessment 1.。。哈哈。。少吧。。。开学以来，最 “轻松” 的一天，不是没事做，而是忙着重逢。。。 haha。。。

今天没去上MATH103 的 lecture，满内疚的，可是没办法啦。。。今早，迟醒了!!! 而且，我约了老朋友见面，所以没去了。。。哈哈。。。再说，课堂里所教的都是基本的东西，早就学过了。。。所以，还说的过去吧。。。我保证，没下次啦。。。

与“老”朋友（dez，廷峰，凯文）见面，感觉真好。。。好久没见到他们了，应该快两个月了吧。。。也许对别人来说不算久吧，但是对我来说真的蛮久了，想想去年，我们天天从早到晚都在一起，一起上课，一起下课，一起补习s。。。现在，偶尔得空才能见面，而且只是一两个钟头。。。haiz。。。但是，最重要还是我们的友情还是一样没变，还是一起吵吵闹闹，一起聊天。。。我真的很喜欢也很珍惜那种感觉和友情，我不会忘记你们所留下的回忆，也不会忘记你们陪我一起度过那难熬的日子。。。希望你们也不会吧!!! 我想再也不会有人能取代你们了吧。。。哈哈。。
而且，我要说说，静薇还有伟成。。。我也不会忘记你们的，虽然你们和我们的距离有点遥远，因为一切都已经在我心中了。。年尾回去时，一定要一起出来疯狂哦。。。哈哈。。。。还有，静薇，不要那么容易哭啦。。。听他们说，送他们机时，有落泪了。。。哈哈。。。知道你很想我们啦。。。 wakaka。。。。伟成，你不用说啦!!! 那么伟大，特地买机票回去不到两天，只为了和他们见面。。。真羡慕你们可以聚在一起，只有我没在。。。哈哈。。。下次，我一定不能错过了。。。哈哈。。。

说回今天傍晚回家前，又见到了我以前住宿舍时的室友。。。真的很想重逢日吧。。。我们也谈了很多。。。内容包括了，以前住宿是认识的“好姐妹们”。。。哈哈。。。

今天虽然过得不是很充实。。。但是还蛮有意义的。。。哈哈。。。开学以来，最开心的一天吧。。。

这星期六，约了“老”朋友。。。他们叫我群他们家煮饭。。。哈哈。。。。答应了。。。所以，要快快把功课做完咯。。。而且星期五，wesley约了louis和我去看戏。。。
Joyce。。。加油咯。。。赶快把事情都完成吧。。。不然，一切就泡汤了。。。

It is a worse life ....

2009-07-30T23:10:00.004+08:00

huh... Around one week, after tomorrow... It will be exactly one week.... It means that my uni life start for one week already... I was so looking forward to the uni life before, but now, I hope it can be stop a while... Juz give me some time to suit myself with it and can take a breath...

WHY I WILL FEEL LIKE THAT AND SO DOWN??????

This is because my timetable is very compact and many assignments were handout to us lo... I need to do 5 units for this semester... u are not heard the wrong thing, it's 5 FIVE... I need to attend 13 classes per week, go to Uni everyday and spend the whole day in the Uni (from monday to Friday, except Tuesday)... It is tiring... The worse things are I need to wake up 5.45am for Tuesday and Thursday because my lecture will start at 8am(I need to go to catch the bus at 6.57am) AND I need to attend night class on thursday night... Haiz... After the night class and reached home, I will like wanna collapse...

MY TIMETABLE :

MONDAY	1pm - 2pm
	Laboratory 1	(P.Act.Sci 101)

	3pm - 5pm
	Module 1-1 / 3	(Math 103)

TUESDAY	8am-9am
	Laboratory	(stat 101)

	10am - 12pm
	Module 1-2 / 4	(Math 103)

WEDNESDAY	2pm - 3pm
	Tutorial	(Math 103)

	4pm - 6pm
	Seminar	(P.Act.Sci 101)

THURSDAY	8am-10am
	Lecture	(P.Act.Sci 101)

	10am-12pm
	Lecture	(Stat 102)

	6.30pm-8.30pm
	Seminar	(Econ100)

FRIDAY	10am-11am
	Tutorial	(Stat 102)

	12pm - 2pm
	Lecture	(Stat 101)

	3pm - 4pm
	Tutorial	(Econ 100)

So, for the weekdays, I will not able to do my tutorial works, my Online Quizzes, do my Assessments and do my Assignments too... haiz... I juz able to do it on saturday and sunday...
I will not have time to rest le.... I need to spend all my time for it... So sad... Hope i will not collapse lo....

Weekly works:
1. SDA 101 - Online Quiz
2. SDA102 - Online Quiz
3. MATH103 - Online Quiz
4. MATH103 - Tutorial Questions ( damn much questions need to do)
5. PAS101(Seminar) - Rewrite the notes for the summary (assignment)
6. ECON100 - Tutorial Questions
7. ECON100 - Preparation for assignment ( Read newspaper)
8. SDA 102 - Tutorials Questions
9. Read the lectures notes ( especially ECON100)
10. Print out all the lecture notes for the following week.

All of it just the compulsory weekly works lo... Some of the lecturers or tutors will ask us do some others work le... huh... how i can finish all of it... haiz...

For this semester,
Assignments + Mid-Term Tests + Projects + Assessments + Presentation + Reports = almost 15

How I can overcome and done it??
I think i will get crazy soon.... can someone teach me HOW.... so helpless....

But, in the 13 classess, I enjoyed ECON100 lecture and the Seminar Principle of Actuarial Science le...
This is because the lecturer of ECON100 is very good.... she is asian too, and very helpful one... and the important thing is her lecture not boring at all....
I like the Seminar of PAS101 because there will invite different actuaries every week to give us a talk and share theirs experiences.... I think that's why i am so interenting with it... haha....

okay... I will stop at here... it's almost 12am le... I need to sleep le... I have classes tomorrow morning... Hope all the things should be alright after that....

Hope all my frens can adapt the Uni life too... cheer....

Life....

2009-07-25T12:29:00.002+08:00

Two days more, My uni life wil begin after that... quite worry about that.. i dont know whether i can follow the trade of it or not... haiz... I will become busy, busy and busy all the way, since i have 13 classes per week... damn it... y must treat me like that.... I'm so so so so tired with it la...

I need to say goodbye to the HOLIDAY soon... The holiday at perth sometimes very boring, sometimes very happy,meaningful, entertain bcoz I have many lovely frens with me. Actually, I knew them before, but juz become close with them in this holiday. We went to Fremantle, Shopping, play Badminton, play Table Tennis, BBQs, celebrated Henry's birthday and etc. I am so happy with it. Thankz Pat,Henry, Sophia and Chris...

This Holiday, I was spent many money le... But, I still have something likes purse, bag and Table Tennis rubber need to buy lo... haiz... Nvm la... I will try to save money to buy all of them.... wakaka....I'm so crazy rite... wakaka....

Actually, these few days, I stil wonder, Am I suitable with the course of Actuarial Science.
Bcoz, the course really hard and challenging for me. I scared i cannot insist on it. haiz...
I dont know what will going on later or in the future, It make me awfully...

In the end, I juz hope i can have a simple life, simple happiness and peace in the coming semester...
So, everybody, dont try to breach of the peace ok... hehe...
Let my life can go on wheels after that...

腰酸背痛。。。

2009-07-05T20:38:00.003+08:00

哇。。我今天醒来时，全身腰酸背痛咯。。。
这都是因为昨天和朋友去打羽球所赐的。。。
其实腰酸背痛都还好，担心的是手弄上伤了，因为现在手的状况不是很理想。。。
希望过两天会好咯，不然就麻烦了，因为是旧患哦。。。

昨天，真的得很开心，因为很久没有做那么剧烈的运动了，平常只是跑跑步而已。。。
打到差不多七点钟，打了两个小时，然后去吃饭了。。。
蛮累的。。。差不多十点钟才到家。。。

不过，发现了，原来打乒乓的脚步可以在打羽球时用上。。。
但是，脚步有点生疏了，必须多多练习咯。。。

晚上，还去喝茶到三四点。。。
“精力充沛”的我，差不多要“散”了。。。哈哈。。。

冬天了。。。 perth真的很冷。。。
可是，这几天，天气还不错。。。
可能不适应转换季节吧，我很容易有点小伤风。。。
而且常常下雨，烦死人了。。。
可能也是因为淋到雨水，所以容易生病咯。。。
结果呢，Mon 常常说我“豆腐” 咯。。。haiz。。。真无奈。。。
以前，重来没有这问题的，
熬夜几个礼拜都没问题。。。现在不能了。。。
希望快点适应咯。。。不会那么幸苦了。。。哈哈。。。。
而且我也会努力的适应，因为不想让家人和朋友担心啊。。。

好了。。。
要去吃晚餐了，下次再写吧。。。

过往，现在，未来。。。

2009-06-26T17:31:00.003+08:00

过往，
再怎么不堪，
都已成为过去，
不必执着，因为根本无法改变，
接受它，将它变成你人生的一部分，
它，将会是你以后生活里的养分，
是你的人生更精彩。

未来，
再怎么计划，
也没有百分百的把握，
不必有太多的计划，
因为一个小小的变化，
就能把你的计划破坏，浪费心机，
所以，未来只是梦想，
没有百分百的确定，
能不能成真，未知数。

现在，
是最真实的，
能够百分百的掌握状况，
没有不确定，有的只有实在感，
所以，好好把握这一分钟，
把所有应该，必须，想做的事完成，
不要让遗憾在你的人生留下痕迹，
因为痕迹是不能磨灭的。

好好珍惜现在吧! 珍惜这份实在感!
“自己”，是你人生历史的关键，
所决定的一切，将会界定你以后的命运。

是时候改变了。。。

2009-06-22T00:09:00.009+08:00

经过沉思后，有些事想通了。。。
从今天开始，我要更加关心我的朋友，
因为我知道，朋友在我心中的地位仅次于家人。。。
我答应我会努力做好。。。

刚才终于开口告诉我爸妈我要回去了，
我告诉他们原因，他们反常的接受了，
帮我查机票，做这个那个的，
但是天不从人意，机票实在太贵了，
如果坚决要回的话，我真的会觉得对我爸妈不好意思。。。
所以，决定了不回，
况且，sali 叫我别回，
我知道你想我回的，我真的很想回去，
我想在你需要是，给你一个温暖的拥抱，
但是不能。。。
对不起，陪不了你。。。

今天，我将会从新开始。。。
每天我都会试着反省，
不再让自己在生命里留下遗憾，
不再让关心别人的机会悄悄从身边溜走。。。
加油。。。。

永远忘不了的友情

给朋友的。。。

2009-06-20T21:44:00.004+08:00

朋友。。
真的真的要跟你说声对不起。。。
原谅我的吊儿郎当，
原谅我的不在乎，
原谅我的自私，
好吗？

我在扮演朋友的角色里，
真的做得不好，
真的很失败，
真的很自私，
我真的错了。

我做的不好的部分，
是我没有主动找过你聊天，关心你，
即使是一句问候都没有，
得空事都在做一些无关紧要的事，
我在这一部分真的很失败。

自私的部分，
当你在msn找我时，
我都不会第一时间回你，
即使看到你上线也不会主动找你，
因为我懒，
因为我想安安静静的做我的事，
我真的很自私。

为什么，为什么，为什么，
每次都有机会让我去了解和关心你，
为什么我都不去把握；
机会明明就已经在我面前，
为什么我连打几个字都不愿意；
明明有能力，有时间，
为什么我都自私的把时间留给自己；
明明我可以拉近我们的距离，让你有个倾诉的对象，
我却都吊儿郎当，不去珍惜。

我真的失败，
每次都口口声声说是好朋友，
但是连去关心都不愿意，
当你有事时，
我都不能第一时间知道，
和你一起承担，
离谱的是，我竟然是后知后觉的那个，
我真的是这世界上最没有用的人，
最没有资格拥有友情的人。

朋友，
原谅我好不好，
一次就好，
真的很对不起。

曾经，
我觉得为朋友，为友情哭很无聊，
那是因为我不会尊重友情的价值，
对不起，
原谅我可以吗？

我真的错了，
这次连我自己都觉得自己离谱，
连我自己有原谅不了我自己，
没有资格要你原谅我吧？

我现在唯一能做的，
可能就只有每晚为你祈祷，
可能就只有给你温暖，
可能就只有听你倾诉，
可能就只有鼓励你，
可能就只有精神上支持你，
可能就只有默默地在远方陪你渡过这个难关，
可能就只有在你需要是给你一个拥抱，
这一切的一切我都会努力做好。

joyce，不要再让这样的事发生第二次，
因为，下一次你不会原谅你自己。

终于写blog了。。。

2009-06-18T15:57:00.003+08:00

差不多一个月了，一个月没写了。没写是因为没时间和没心情。。。现在终于可以写了。。。

这一个月，我把final exam考完了，成绩也出来了。。。成绩呢，我不是很满意不过至少可以过到requirement咯。。。

在等成绩的两个星期里，我超级难过的，因为每天都在想成绩的事，成绩出来的前一天，我还睡不着觉呢。。。压力。。。不过现在轻松了。。。

假期的这两个星期，这已经是假期的第二个星期了，蛮闷的。。。不过还好，跟朋友去bbq了两次，过瘾,enjoy,happy。。。

这两个星期，我也想了很多。。。下定决心了很多事。。。

我不要再当烂好人
不要去在乎和介意太多事，因为会让自己心烦

在乎，对我来说原本很重要，但是往往让我很烦心；
所以现在我要自我中心一点，自私一点，不要太在乎别人。
可不可以做到，我不知，但我会努力，因为我相信nothing impossible。。。哈哈。。。

还有一个月假期，这一个月我不知我可以做什么。。。生活应该不会很精彩。。。哈哈。。。
朋友们，得空找我吧。。。

not mature...

2009-05-31T01:50:00.005+08:00

huh... really not mature... why some of the peoples who beside me cannot have a mature thinking?

sometimes, totally cannot understand what they are thinking of... why so childish ar... we are not young already.. please.. please show me some mature part.. dont show me the worse part... until spoil my mood...

The things i wish to have is a simple life, means a life filled with happy, laugh, comfortable, empathy and peace... its a simple wish actually, dont have any difficulty...

But why always breach of the peace... haiz...

Can some of u make my wish come true? Please... Please be EMPATHY ok....
When u do it, in the same time, u will feel that the people beside u understand ur thinking and respect u also...
trust me... u will appreciate me after that...

appreciate all the things u have and beside with u... then your life will change...

busy all the way...

2009-05-24T00:13:00.002+08:00

huh... it's midnight now... juz fnished the slide show for presentation... tired... but still hope to update my blog..otherwise, i need to wait after my final exam for this semester juz can update it...

exam is approaching.. stress... i need to get 75 average mark juz can continue my course.... damn it... how can i done it... i never set a "high" goal like this.. but what can i do, juz study all the days.. study hard to make it possible, since nothing is impossible... wakaka...

this week and next week will very busy, tired and stress also... many tests need to be done and need to do preparation for the exam, coz we dont have study week... so juz can try our best to study for exam.. dont have enough time to prepare and the requirement really make me feel stress... frens, pray for me okay.... wakaka...

my best fren text me few days ago... asked me why i dont go back when semester break... the reason is bcoz i do not confident to my result lor.. i worried i cannot hit the requirement... so i stay back at here... in case, need to do something else.. hehe... dont too miss me ar... see u end of the year ok...

Miss sabah le... i'm coming back soon... wait for me...

平凡。。。

2009-05-15T20:44:00.004+08:00

平凡与不平凡，
曾经要做不平凡的人，但过程很寂寞和艰辛；
现在要做平凡的人，原来也不容易；
要做和平中立的平凡的人更难。

平凡的人，
拥有的是立场和想法；
和平中立的平凡的人，
要具备的是立场与想法和客观与分析能力。

平凡的人，
只要有想法了，就能明确的表明立场，
立场是观念和感受的投射；
和平中立的平凡人，
就算有了想法，还是要客观地分析，然后再表明立场，
立场是理智和分析结果的投射。

和平中立的平凡人的的难处。。。

要当和平中立的平凡人，
通常都会陷入受折磨和为难的状况。

折磨，
是因为还没有分析结果时，
没办法判断任何事，
疑虑会回旋在自己的逻辑里，折磨自己的思维。

为难，
是因为自己的先入为主想法会左右理智和分析结果，
往往会把自己推向自相矛盾的情况，无法下定义，
左右为难，没有了解读事情的能力。

和平中立的平凡人应该。。。

和平中立的平凡的人，
必须是有理智的和现实的；
理智地看待任何事，不被情绪所牵引，
现实的想法，个人利益为出发点的定律加上抛弃期待感。

和平中立的平凡的人，
必须是没有任何同情心和怜悯之心，
因为这些会是分析结果有偏差，
“它们”将会是结果的一部分，
中立和公正就不存在了。

和平中立的平凡的人，
也必须拥有对换立场思考的能力，
综合各方面的立场，
然后再其中取得一个平衡点，
这个点要是公正和客观的。

但是有多少人能做和平中立的平凡人呢？
很难吧!
就算再努力，都会遇到瓶颈，
因为人是拥有七情六欲，
不可能可以忽视身边的一切;
而且想法和理智很难是一致的，
想法，将会是累积的遭遇所形成的，
它将会让一个人有先入为主的观念，
最后会造成一种“态度”，理智会在这时候远离。

现在的我是当一个和平中立的平凡人，但不是很成功，而且快要人格分裂了。
那你想当那一种人呢？

TODAY...

2009-05-11T21:02:00.004+08:00

成熟与幼稚，
只是一线之差吧，
但定义又在哪呢？不知。
如何分辨呢？也说不定。
可是，我们可以就个人的感觉去判断。

当双方都成熟时，
相处会比较舒服，
不需考虑太多，
身边的一切都会变得里说当然，
因为双方都有共同的理念。

当有一方是幼稚时，
两人的相处会出现 “距离”，
因为，会有一方要迁就，付出，
而另一方会觉得一切都里说当然的，
不会变换角度来思考，
想的永远以自己为中心，
也可以说是自私。

当双方都是幼稚是，
先入为主的观念就是一拍即合，
但是是错误的，
反而会弄巧成拙，
情况会更糟糕，
因为，彼此都容易闹脾气，不会迁就，坚持自己的想法，
简单来说就是自私。

幼稚的人往往会遇到一些问题，尤其在沟通反面和人际关系方面。试着在这些事里找到平衡点，平慢慢让自己蜕变，成为能够有独立思想和有“伸缩性”得人。

一件事发生在你身上，
第一次是偶然，
但是，
第二次是就应该自我反省了，
因为问题可能就是在你身上了。

a quote for yesterday...

2009-05-11T19:35:00.002+08:00

人与人之间有很多学问，
沟通就是其中的一种。

人与人，
可以和平相处也可以吵吵闹闹，
那就是双方要如何选择。

和平，
应该是最好的选择，
让生活上拥有更多朋友，
并增加欢笑声。

吵吵闹闹，
不但伤感情，
更在自己的人生留下了遗憾，
遗憾失去了一个朋友，
而多了一个敌人。

沟通的学问，
每个人有不同的沟通方式，
它可以是很大众化，
也可以是很“独特”的。

大众化，
让人觉得舒服，
比较能跟别人相处，
比较会“做人”。

“独特”，
让人觉得难以相处，
行事风格往往让人不能接受。

哪个好，那个不好，不能有任何结论。

沟通和性格也息息相关，
性格也可以分成大众化和独特。

大众化，
对身边的事都会用理智来判断和解决，
EQ比较高，能掌握和控制自己的情绪，
不会让情绪牵动自己，
会设法让自己去适应和配合环境和现实。

独特，
对身边的事都会用自己的想法和思考方式来应付，
EQ还好，情绪波动大，情绪不在自己的掌控之中，
自己是被情绪牵动的，
往往都是想环境和现实去配合和迁就自己。

以前听过一段话：“正常人是去配合现实，只有不正常的人是希望现实配合自己，但是，往往奇迹就是那些不正常的人所创造的。”

对我来说，在生活里，显然是不成立的。要现实配合自己，不可能，因为，在日常生活里，你根本不可能因为这一段话，要每个人迁就你，放纵你。而现实，是你必须去配合别人去完成每一件事，包括生活上的一些小事，就算是自己多不愿意，多不习惯。因为，这是必需的，在生活里，我们必须做出最大的让步，就是因为这是现实，就算是要强迫自己去适应，习惯这种生活方式，任性，执着和原则都已经不再是首选的。

所有所写的一切，没有下定论的意识，而只是分析，纯个人意见。但是，也希望每个人可以融入现实。快乐地生活吧！

a blog for few weeks...

2009-05-09T16:40:00.004+08:00

Hi, long time no updated my blog again... haiz.. lazy and busy also...

I juz moved to a new house last two weeks... the house is better than before, although need to stay with the owner.. but he is nice and humble... sometimes make me feel like stay with my grandfather... and the important thing is he come from sabah also...wakaka.. how come i can so lucky.. hehe...

About my new room... feel confortable and feel like home... very warm.. same and tidy... good... it is better than before...
about the life foe these few weeks.... normally not big deal... the only thing is move house.. i like my new house... hehe.. the only problems is quite far if need to caught the bus.. but.. nevermind...
Moreover... i decide not go back to sabah this semester break... the reason is lazy.. and dont have any important things need to do... so .. dont wan go back... then.. i think i will back on the end of december... so sorry my frens... i told all of u that i will go back... hehe... dont too miss me ar... wakaka...

i will stop my blog at here... i will try to updated it frequently... hehe... promise...

shopping-dinner-sleep-cook herb tea....

2009-04-19T01:01:00.005+08:00

haha... yesterday(17/4)... is my relax day... i went to shopping on noon time... i bought 2 long pants(AUS20-around rm30), 1 long sleeves shirt(AUD10-around rm15) and a pair of converse shoes(AUD30-around rm75).... huh... happy... i spent around AUD70... lolz... quite happy....thanks xun jie accompany me went to shopping... wakaka....

after shopping... i go to meet json them at vickery house.... haha... we went to took dinner at a chinese restaurant... actually we decided for it since long time ago.. coz mandy told me she want to eat duck one month ago... wakaka... so try to satify her... wakaka... nice dinner.... ma liu join us also.... haha... funny boy... wakaka... always make us fun... hehe....

after that...back home after that... then i pack up my things and took bath... huh... really tired... then i slept on 9 o'clock o.... huh... first time fall asleep so early... lolz.... then sleep until 1030am this morning.... wakaka... 13.5 hours lor... wakaka...

i cook herb tea this morning... coz json was sick ... so i try to cook some herb drink for him this morning... wakaka... hope he will recover soon.... take care ya...

3 weeks never updated....

2009-04-13T03:41:00.002+08:00

hi... i'm back... 3 weeks never updated my blog... huh... really long time... i cannot updated my blog bcoz my line not so good... haha... but, it's getting good already...

what i have been done these weeks?
-i hang out with jessie, dez, mandy, jayson, kelvin, caroline two times in these two weeks, coz we want to celebrate jessie's birthday and jayson's birthday too... hehe... quite happy.. coz we seldom have time to hang out and chit chat together.. hehe.... besides that, my life juz go on like usual... nothing special... the only things i feel satisfied is my test results... haha... quite good actually... haha...

this week is easter holiday... huh... dont know why.. not excited with it... the only things i can feel is boring... haiz... miss malaysia, miss my parents, miss my frens, miss VIP and others... huh... the things i will do everyday is count down... looking forward to the day i can go back to malaysia... haha...

i feel alone at here... nobody can accompany me, especially when i face some problem or i need someone to heard my heart's voice.... i need "fren".. special one... who can talk with me...

huh.. whatever... after i reached here... i never feel comfortable... my eyes infection, my norse pain bcoz too dry, my lips too, flu and some others... haiz... how come....

i said i wan to be tough before.... but now... i not sure about it... sometimes, i really think want to give up.... but.... i can't....

relation....

2009-03-20T00:12:00.003+09:00

two persons,as a special fren,

the life will not have any intersection point,
the topics they can talk will become few,
the feel to each other will become strange,
they cannot know what each other are thinking about,
they will not often contact each other,
bcoz of "distance".....

maintain,
make the relation have a distance,
then the relation will on the safe mode,
"fren" situation will make the relation become everlasting.

lost,
scare of it..
so, need to maintain it..
dont care too much..
keep it in the heart..

dont care,
yes...
must be...
not try the best...
but is force yourself...
so, can protect yourself from hurt...
and make yourlife fulfill with more things...

all the things i write, i still work hard to do it... i dont know i can do it or not.. but i will make it as my target...

maybe some of u dont know what i am talking about, but.... sure "u" understand about...

dinner for sunday night...

2009-03-16T19:47:00.009+09:00

yesterday, i study economics for the whole day... huh... really no idea about it.. coz never learn it before... but... i will try my best to understand all of it... hehe...

i cook dinner at night.. actually i cook dinner for all of us every night.. but the dishes for last night is a bit different.. i cook western food... haha... let show my serving first...

i cook steak, carrot, and potato... haha.. would u like to taste it... hahaha.... look delicious le.... i like the taste... but dont know all of u enjoy it or not la... hope u all are... wakaka...

eat steak... muz have liquor lar.. wakaka.. enjoy mar.. but, juz me have drink it la... my housemates juz taste a bit... wakaka..... very enjoy ler... hope can join me le... haha....

put lime into the CORONA... make the taste good.. hehe

after an hour.. then all of us finish our dish... haha.. fast le....

after wash all the dishes.. then start study again....huh... but.. happy... at least have a nice dinner on weekend night... haha... but.... nothing la.. ok la... will upload more photos in the future... wakaka... take care ya all my frens...

my life fulfill with study...

2009-03-12T10:28:00.003+09:00

second week already... i go to school for two weeks already... my feel about it... busy and a bit stress to me.... many works need to complete and presentation too.... all of this too strange to me... i still not suit to these.. how... the time is pass every day, but, i still cannot fit myself into the condition... haiz...

sometimes, i cannot sleep actually.. or i can say i force myself dont sleep ... even sometimes i'm lazy to do all the things, but still dont want to go to bed, force myself to do it first... i can feel that i'm changing myself... i never work hard like this before.. all my frens, u will know when u come with me... haha...(sali know de... coz when u find me i always said i'm doing my work or juz finish it... haha... i also tell u many when we skype... hehe...)

but i really feel stress.... i dont want as the "turtle" in the class... i dont want be a slowest person to learn all the things in the class... if like that, i need work hard.. i know of it.. so, i always remind myself to work hard and hard... because i dont want "lose"(i think i can say like this coz in my mind, the slowest is the loser for me...hehe)..... so make me feel stress all the way..... sometimes also dont know how to face it...

all the things too fast to me... i cannot caught up all of it.... pls... give me more time... i will try my best to caught up all of it... really.... frens... all of u will support me right... hehe...

frens, kk , sabah... miss all of that...

the life of first saturday at perth...

2009-03-07T17:43:00.003+09:00

first saturday... like normal... but, last night we was plan to go to city, north bridge and ikea...

we wake up late today.. around 11 o'clock.. we juz go to north bridge, about ikea, next time la...hehe... we take our brunch at a chinese restaurant at north bridge... my first time take train at perth.. hehe... after that, we go to chinese supermarket have a look and buy something lo... coz i juz move in to the house, need to buy foods for my own.. hehe... then, we want to buy juice at city woolworth de.. but finish already... so, we change our plan.. we go to carousel again... hehe.. by the time we wait for the bus.. huh... met our frens le... destiny... the second time i met my fren at carouisel already... wakaka... have a nice talk...

but... the weather today very hot... i feel myself become dark already... this is the disadvantage of dont have car... haiz... hope my housemate have her own car lo... then no need to walk already... haha... juz joking la.. if the weather is not hot.. walk is good for me as exercise... hehe...

huh... at home now... is time to continue my studies already... i juz finish my advanced math last night... today.. is the turn of the others units... how... all the work like "mountain", cannot finish all of its.. haiz... study hard la... like what VIP said before.... the only thing i can do is force myself to study... i really feel not suit with the life with study and uni.. coz, i rest too long time for relax... but.. i will try to like it and suit myself with this condition...

joyce... cheer...

the life at perth really boring for me... dont have any entertainment.. maybe because it still dont meet many frens.. even have many shopping centres at here.. but all the shops are the same... after i do my one week shopping at here before... i really not interesting with the shopping centers at all... prefer at home.. haha....

attend class, late night shopping, studying...

2009-03-06T15:58:00.003+09:00

huh... about one week already i start my new life at here...but, still cannot decide whether i like this place or not and it's suit with me or not...... haha... i start my class on monday... very tired lo... have two classes on one day.. one class take about 4 hours... i feel like wanna crazy and "die" liao... coz too tired.... when i back home, i juz hope can sleep... i sleep in front the webcam lo.. when i chat with VIP... haha... very funny... but i think is too tired lo...

yesterday(05/03) go late night shopping at carousel with my housemates... huh... we buy many things lo... but most of it are groceries la... we need to take bus go back home, all the things make us feel like stone... damn heavy... on the way we walk back to home, some of the plastic bags broken coz the things too heavy and the plastic bag at here very low quality one... haha... haha.....but, fortunately have "L"... haha.. thanks ya... "J", thank you also bring me to find and buy my stuffs... haha... last night we dinner at eleven something.... huh... first time take dinner at the late night.. coz usually i will not eat already, if so late already.. ... hehe....

now.. busy on studying... i juz start to read my advanced math since the lecturer ask us to read one chapter... this morning, after i wake up, i open the book and juz realised that one chapter of it content 133pages o...huh.. make me shock... but, what can i do.....i juz can try to finish it lo... huh... crazy... i read it until headaches o... hehe.... still have many others work which belong to the other units waiting for me to do "them".... huh... hope i will not getting crazy or abnormal... haha... juz kidding la... i'm joyce le... i face so many problems before and have so many experiences... all of those already train me before i come here.... so.. i think most of u know... this is new "joyce", different than before, have a positive thinking and try to change myself all the time... juz to make myself feel happy and comfortable all the time.... haha.... believe me?... hehe.... u muz... coz i'm changing myself.... trust me?... muz .... wakaka.....

i think i need to suit myself to this environment and the style of learning as soon as possible.... muz do it... joyce... u can do it.... add oil......

the life after reach australia...

2009-03-01T18:42:00.002+09:00

huh... finally i can online... coz before i stay at a house which rent by my relatives for 1 week... i juz move in to my house this morning.. then i get line to online... quite happy... haha...

the journey fromm kk to perth... make all of us feel tired and upset... and memorable also... but nvm la... the important thing is we can reach perth la... haha...

make a crazy shopping for 1 week... my mum and me buy many things.... coz it is summer sale... huh... the things are quite cheap for us.. and the quality is good also.. haha...spend money for the whole week... what a crazy life...

today, i send my mum to airport, quite unwilling.. but do not cry la.. i force myself cannot cry... coz i want to be tougher... haha... after that move in to my house...my housemates.. nice and friendly also.... haha... hope have a good relation with them... wakaka...

today, feel very tired(VIP also can feel i'm tired through the webcam)... unpack and tidy up all my things... huh.... my things like a mountain.... take a long time to unpack all of it.... haha...

today feel like missing something... i have no idea with the life at here after that... i juz have 3 study days per week... the remaining time, what can i do for it... will feel boring i think... but the lifestyle and environment at here quite good... i like it... but i dont know the feel of like will forever or juz a period... wakaka...

but, the promises i did before i will try my best to make it... really... i will put a lot of effort to make it... but the "product", i cannot guarantee is good.... haha... success or fail... i cannot control... especially to "u", VIP... ok...

this is my first lonely day at perth... but i will make it more wonderful after i meet more new frens... haha....

busy and tired.. count down..

2009-02-18T19:27:00.002+09:00

huh... this few days, what i busy on... the answer is packing.. the life for these days just fulfilled with buy, pack and pack.. i need to bring many things to australia... but my luggage bag dont have so many space to put all of it, even my luggage bag is the largest size already... huh... headache.. so ask jessie how to pack her luggage, she give a useful reply... i think i bring too many optional things, means rubbish...now, need to cut, cut and cut... wakaka.. yesterday, i back home in the afternoon, and start to pack my luggage.. i use the whole time until 5 o'clock still havent finish it... just feel tired.. then stop and left it.. huh... who can help me oh... how good if "VIP" here, u will help me right... wakaka... settle all by myself.. pity.. tired... huh.. headache also...

after i start pack, all parts of my body pain oh... coz need to arrange all the things and need to move in and out.. heavy.. huh...

it's time to count down again... 2 days left... what a pity... havent done my packing yet.. the feel of unwilling become stonger from time to time.. all of u will feel unwilling to me... not sure of it... wakaka... i will miss all of the things and peoples at here.. really... actually.. when i packing my things, i feel like want to cry... i dont like packing.. it will give me a feel which make me hopefully to continue the life at here.. but it cannot change again.. unless, i not affortable to continue my studies at there... but i will try my best to prevent it to occur.. wakaka...

all my frens, take good care ok... and keep contact ar... will miss all of u.... huh...
i will try my best to achieve success...

farewell..shopping..packing...

2009-02-15T18:14:00.004+09:00

last friday(13/02), my farewell... go out with frens, and have a drink... very high.. coz too long time don't chat and 38 with them.... really high night... wakaka... happy, even though one week earlier make it... and rachel, thanks for your present ok.. hehe...but a bit disappointed VIP cannot go... maybe is good for me gua, if he attend, i will cry i think.. wakaka...after that, i go clubbing with frens.. this is because i hope to go before i leave and ah yee's birthday also la... what a crazy day again.... i at the pub until 5 o'clock o... actually want to leave at around 3 o'clock de.. but ah tim(juz meet on that night.. wakaka) not let oh... then stay until 5 o'clock lo...ah yee, drunk.... me, normal...haha...

yesterday, valentines' day... what a pity.. lonely valentine again... so, i juz can go to shopping with my parents lor.. coz want to buy many things.... huh... use many money oh... but juz one time la... wakaka.... the things i already buy were:computer accessories,facial set,shoes and others... back home at 9o'clock oh... really tired.. but still go out have a drink with frens after that, until around 12 o'clock...have a single party... wakaka... but still ok to me lar... happy to that also...but unwilling to all of them... hope still have chance to gathering after that... i will miss all of u... but all of u also want to miss me ar.... haha...

today, still continue my shopping period... but juz half day lar.. after that back keningau lor.... huh... unwilling all the shopping centres at kk...wakaka... juz joking lar... but really... i feel unwilling to all the things and ppls at here... but still need to leave... wakaka....

tomorrow will start packing lor... this time cannot lazy already... coz time become shorter and shorter... must make all the preparation on the time...huh... must very tired lor and havent do it already feel lazy...wakaka... but all the best lor...

i will "jia you" de... haha...
boarding at coming saturday, 21th of feb.. 0950...
5 days left... less than 1 week... what a pity...

presents... tired day...

2009-02-11T13:06:00.003+09:00

lets we say about yesterday first. yesterday, i din update my blog because of lazy..haha... yesterday, i get the presents from VIP.. he send through pos laju.. i go and collect it at post office lo... quite happy... there have two presents.. one is for valentine and another is for me to use when i go to australia..it also content one card and a mini DVD which fullfil with photos... Thanks ya.... i never think that i can get all of this before... touch...

About today, i juz can said, it is a tired day for me.... i juz sleep for 20 minutes... i chat with VIP for the whole night... crazy again.. this is the second time already... we chat until 5.45am... then stop, i need a rest... haha.. huh... u know, my mom come and knocked my door at 6.05am, juz to ask me accompany her to go to joggging... it's like a hell for me... u can imagine how tired i am.. i can sleep even i am driving o.. fortunately, dont have others car around, if not accident must occur lor... haiz... huh... but still happy can chat with him and he share many things with me, even though i feel very tired...

huh... 10 days left.. what a pity... time, can u stop awhile... i seem like cannot follow the step of u... i still not get ready for everything.... but i know cannot... nvm la... i force myself to follow it... haha... support me, ok.....

chinese 15th..

2009-02-09T09:39:00.003+09:00

today is chinese 15th.. i wake up 6 o'clock oh.. so early.. juz want to prepare the things for pray... but it still make me feel ok when i wake up.. no heachache even i juz sleep for around 4 hours... so.. my mood today is totally opposite with yesterday... today, i feel fresh, like what people always said, a new day is a new start... haha...

today start with a good mood and feel... make me hope to eat some sweet juz hope it can maintain... wakaka... funny thinking... but i like this feel... really....

this morning, i call VIP also.. juz to ask him to wake up... haha.. how sweet when the call is connected with u, and u pick it up with a wonderful tone.. that make me no worries, coz i know u will feel better today, and your sick will recover soon...haha...first time can hear your sound even a text in the early morning... haha...

count down again ... count down already as my responsibility for everyday..... haiz... 12 days left... tomorrow will start to do some packing and make mentally preparation from this moment.....try my best do it as well as i can.....

afternoon, when my parents come back from lunch... i prepare lunch for them.. my mum saw me and said:"u havent go but start miss u already, u cannot prepare lunch for us already."... oh.. so touch.. make me cry after that... i havent go there, but start home sick already... how.... how i can willing leave here....

today start by a good feel hope it will maintain it for the whole day.. until the last second for today..wakaka...

mood.. count down again....

2009-02-08T15:20:00.006+09:00

today is a sunny day.. but my mood not as good as the weather... my mood was down since this morning.. this is because, i am sore throat for a few days already and a bit cough, my parents keep scolding me after i wake up.. it make my mood down.. really feel bad....

after that feel a bit ok already, i just keep myself busy doing manything... my parents also ask me to packing my luggages.. but no mood to do that.... just left it beside...

i online on the afternoon.... i saw a text drop by VIP... he said he sick already... really worry... text him after that... but i know he will take care himself.. (u will, right? haha..)But, cannot chat until midnight already... must take rest and drink water...

Count down again... 13 days left... the time become shorter and shorter... i still not do any preparation for it, no wonder physically or mentally... haiz... now juz left less than two weeks... u know how long for it... i juz can spend 1 more weekend at here... how sad...

21th, saturday morning, i boarding already... leave here... the only thing i can bring along just is the memories.. memories for 18 years....

unwilling... but that is what i choose before... all will end up after i leave...

joyce.. cheer... u can do it....

*i will use english to write my blogs after that...even though my english is not so good... because it will take me a bit long time to write a blog by chinese and "u" cannot read chinese also...

privacy and nervous period...

2009-02-06T18:41:00.006+09:00

Hey.. long time dont upgrade my blog already.. not because of busy or lazy.. but is privacy.. the things happen in these days, is my privacy.. i cannot share it.. so i dont post it in my blog.. But, here, i want to say thank you to "you"(maybe i call u my VIP)... thanks to give me these sweet memories... i will never forget you..

it is my nervous period again.. i will go to australia to continue my study soon.. juz left 14 days... i juz start packing and have some shopping.. hope will not forget to bring anything which needed... But, i'm not sure about all the things at there... i really worry i cannot overcome all the problems which i will face.. but i promise i will try my best.. coz it is my choice to continue my study at oversea.. hope is a sweet memories to me also to study at there... all of my frens will support me.. i think.. haha...

yesterday, i go to my best fren's blog.. i read the latest article... i know she was sad.. fren.. we will always keep contact.. internet is very convenience for all of us to keep contact... will never forget u... like what i said to u... "the friendship is not depend on how frequent we contact each other,but is depend on how we think about our friendship and whether we place the friendship in our heart or not.. our friendship will ever lasting if we do that.. "... trust me...
fren.. have any problems must find me and share with me ok.. i will always get ready to became your listener... dont cry when i boarding ar.. but i sure u will... but dont make me cry pls.. wakaka......

此刻的心情。。。

2009-01-17T18:38:00.004+09:00

再过一个月就要去澳洲读书了，对这既期待又担心。
“期待”——期待过新的生活，不想在这留下遗憾的环境，想认识新朋友。其实昨天还跟一个朋友分享了自己的想法。之前我有一班好朋友，我对着友情很珍惜及很有信心。但随着毕业后的日子，我越来越觉得友情开始有了距离，而且开始担心了，担心这友情会有隔阂了。但我知道这是一定的，所以要快点进入新环境，别再钻牛角尖了。（我会有这种想法，我觉得并不奇怪，毕竟这段友情得来不易，而且之前受过了伤害，所以会更珍惜身边存在的友情）

“担心”——担心自己无法在最短的时间内适应环境，更担心在那里会遭遇到的问题时，我没有办法应付因为无法掌握和拿捏，因为我毕竟是没有和朋友一起住。但是，我知道这是我自己选的，所以一定要逼迫自己适应。

明天约了朋友去唱歌，但是当我知道“她”也会去时，我的心情好像没有那么期待了反而有点想放鸽子。。。
其实我是看开了，但是我不知为什么还是不太想去与“她”相处和面对“她”。。。
可能是我不想我的回忆再次被“她”挖出来吧。。。
但是又何奈呢。。。
只能希望，明天可以平常心面对吧。。。

理性的决定。。。

2009-01-03T18:28:00.003+09:00

有时一个人的决定会被很多外来事物或被别人的一些话所影响，而且在当下就做了决定。
但是，回头想想，这个决定是否是理性的呢？
在我的理解里，那是不理性的。这是我亲身经历的。
有些事不会是自己想象得那么完美，因为很多事都有意想不到的突发事件。
以前我就是因为自己的一时冲动做了一些决定。当置身与内时，才晓得不是与想象的同等。
就应为那个决定，让自己承受多少压力和悲伤，把自己的生活弄乱了，并留下遗憾。。。
在你想要回头时，才觉悟那是不可能了。。。已经太迟了。。。
我衷心劝朋友们，三思而后行吧。。。不要太冲动。。。别让情绪影响了理性。。。
接受我的意见吧。。。

2009到来了。。。

2009-01-01T15:12:00.003+09:00

今天一醒来，感觉很不一样，因为今天开始，我开始过2009年的日子。。。
今天脑海里闪过了一个很奇怪的想法。。。
我突然不觉得2008年里所觉得的伤害，无奈，一却不愉快的事是一中痛苦，好像突然是释怀了。。。
我现在的想法是：那些是生活中的考验，是让我成长的一种方法。生活里，没有任何事是十全十美的，那些事让我失去了，但同时也获得了一些收获。。。这是正常的，因为每件事是都有正反两极的，当你曾经失去时你才会更珍惜以后拥有的。。。

这是我给自己2009年的礼物，是我觉得很有意义的礼物。。。

当然，昨天一早我也收到一个刚认识不久的朋友所送的礼物。。。那就是我以后的房东。。。她答应让我搬进去住了。。。蛮开心的。。。很棒的礼物。。。

真是觉得2009年是我一个新的旅程。。。
心中的愿望和目标好像离我越来越近了。。。

新发型。。。

2008-12-29T19:17:00.004+09:00

今天去弄了新发型。。。朋友给点意见吧。。。

不好的也没关系。。。哈哈^_^。。。。

烦烦烦。。。

2008-12-26T18:04:00.001+09:00

真烦，上个星期去弄去澳洲读书的事。
竟然得知了一个坏消息，agent说宿舍没有位了。。。
这真的让我觉得烦，agent和朋友建议了很多办法，但是办法有了还要做选择，真困扰我了。。。

这几天开始联络一些人，好让我去到那里有地方住。。。但是一却都还没有有确定的答复。。。让我担心了好几天。。。haiz。。。。。

为什么困扰总是缠着我，难道别人口中时常说的“人就是在困境中成长”在我身上发生了吗？

以为告别高三生活就轻松的我，显然又陷入了另一个"坑" 里。。。

心痛的感觉再次回来。。。

2008-12-16T12:34:00.000+09:00

这几天没什么事做，所以拿了高三毕业特刊来看，第一次认真地一页一页翻阅。
到了义卖会的部分时。。。心痛的感觉再次回来。。。
停留在那部分时，让我想起了运动会时不开心的事。。。你们可以说我太执着了，那么小的事都要那么在意，但当你遇到你很在乎的事时，那件事就对你很重要了，当你被“它”遗忘或不被重视时，那种痛真的无法想象，那种痛可以让我睡不着觉，一个人哭，至今还耿耿于怀，这时心痛的感觉就会出现了，让我永远都忘不了的痛。。。
曾经为了运动会留下读高三，曾经为了运动会留下汗水与泪水，曾经为了运动会努力而病倒了，但最终得到的就是心痛的感觉和差点患上忧郁症（一个月无法入睡，发恶梦，一个人躲着哭）。。。
你们可以说我很看不开，但是这就是我，但一件事让我很关注是我就会很投入，所以很容易受伤。曾经说过要改，但是性格真的那么容易改吗?
当初是我自己一个人疗伤，所以我知道疗伤时的辛苦（这时。反而一个我很在乎的朋友没有陪我，痛上加痛，失望）。所以以后我会尽量保护自己。。。
我要谢谢L在那段时期对我的关心，以及那么能谅解我的心情与想法，以及“芝”时常陪我聊天。。。

回来了。。。

2008-12-13T21:26:00.000+09:00

这应该是前几天就应该post的，但是真的太累了，没有心。
30/11-4/12 去香港。
在那里真的很enjoy，乐开了怀。整个旅程就如如我想象得那样爽，所以开心是一定的咯。有的到出去逛，去disneyland，享受美食，疯狂购物，享受大酒店的服务，不愉快都难吧。哈哈。。。
香港的美食很赞但是很贵，东西很in但是同样很贵。我觉得最便宜应该就是搭地铁咯。。。^_^。。。
遗憾的是没有去到海洋公园，以后再去的话一定要去哪里。。。（其实明年妈说会计划再去啦。哈哈^_^。。。）
这次的旅程最不满意的就是班机的时间不理想：
· 去的时候飞机delay了三个小时。闷。。。
好才有提供丰盛的午餐供我们慢慢享用，好让我们能渡过那么长的时间。。。
· 回的时候更夸张，我们六点到汶莱机场，1250am才飞回kk，真要命。。。汶来机场有没有消遣，我快闷死了。。。
6/12-9/11 去斗湖。
这次去斗湖是为了送婆婆回去。时间很紧，因为爸爸过后要赶工没有时间，所以逼不得已咯。我们驾车回去，好才有刚开了一个shortcut，只需要5个小时。不然走旧路就要差不多10个小时，我一定累死。

这么多天的旅程真的把我累坏了，所以那么迟才update blog，值得原谅吧。。。哈哈^_^。。。
回来后，我的生活恢复平静，比之前更没有太大的起伏。。。这让我拥有很多时间，所以想的东西也越来越多。。。
我想我需要一点时间来成为“沉淀期”，所以很多朋友找我，我都没有什么回复，对不起哦。。。但这个时期过去后，我会找你们的。。。对我有信心。。。ok。。。

闷的日子。。。

2008-11-18T16:48:00.002+09:00

昨天是我闷的日子的开始。。。这几天真的很闷。。。除了服侍婆婆和姑姑，就没有事做了。。。太无聊了。。。
现在的我真的很想念以前的日子。。。以前的我都不喜欢上课的日子，总是三不五时就不去上课，都觉得不以为然，不会珍惜。。。
但是，现在的我很想念，很想念那些日子。。。想念那与朋友一起上课，一起游戏，一起聊天，一起共度日子。。。
但是我会坚强地过现在的日子，更会珍惜以后的日子。。。努力让自己的梦想实现。。。
这将会是我对自己的承诺。。。
你们会支持我吧。。。。o(∩_∩)o...哈哈。。

毕业旅行与告别高三。。。

2008-11-17T00:21:00.002+09:00

其实这应该是昨天写的，但昨天实在太累了，所以没有写，今天才写。。。
昨天从毕业旅行回来了，我正式与高三告别了，从此我们再也不会有交集点了。。。
13/11-15/11 是高三的毕业旅行，三天两夜，从神山到看萤火，这几天真的很写意，当然最重要还是跟他们在一起。。。高山在次在我的生活里留下回忆。。。谢谢你们这几天让我觉得开心，让我觉得高三不再是我的负担，从新找了对高三记忆的平衡点。。。
朋友们这几天你们还开心吗？希望是。。。
现在的我在努力从新适应现在的生活，没有朋友时时刻刻在身边、没有建国、没有高三的生活。。。但我已经习惯了，我已经六年离开家了，真的需要多一点时间去适应。。。再给我一点时间。。。。
朋友们希望你们也能适应。。。。

pulau之旅的相片。。。

2008-11-13T02:31:00.002+09:00

banana boat ripe is fun。。。。

在pulau的相片，现在的生活很写意。。。

今天早上又要进行我们三天两夜的毕业旅行了。。。上神山和去看萤火虫。。。

pulau之旅。。。

2008-11-12T15:39:00.002+09:00

昨天（11/11）跟朋友去了pulau manukan。。。玩的蛮开心的。。。我们去玩了banana boat。。。很好玩。。。那种在深不可测的海里的感觉还不错。。。但有点害怕。。。不过要用很多力量来balance那个banana boat。。。身体真的很累。。。所以今天醒来时全身酸痛，尤其是手的部分。。。哈哈^_^。。。不过值得的。。。
我们也有去潜水看鱼。。。但昨天的浪有点大。。。看到的鱼有点少，要去到很深才看到。。。要谢谢“朋友”带有去看鱼，因为我不敢去太深。。。而且海水很咸，弄得我的嘴唇很痛哦。。。
朋友们，我很享受昨天的pulau之旅。。。谢谢你们又在我的生活里留下美好的回忆。。。
晚上我们还去庆祝K的生日。。。真的是开心的一天。。。朋友们你们觉得呢？

领悟。。。

2008-11-11T01:58:00.003+09:00

喜欢和爱情是背负着很多元素的。。。不能单纯的只为了喜欢。。。
等待，不是每个人能办到的。。。往往会有许多问题或事情破坏了等待的。。。
所以不要让珍惜的事或人等待。。。要立即行动。。。不要错过。。。珍惜身边人。。。
你们赞成吗？

sick.......

2008-11-10T16:34:00.000+09:00

其实身体不是很舒服，但是刚才勉强自己跟“他们”吃午餐，明天还是会逞强要去pulau。。。爸妈都不赞成。。。明天我最后一次跟“他们”出去玩。。我不想错过。。。我想珍惜每一次跟他们在一起的时间。。。希望明天会舒服点。。。我今天会好好休息的。。。

皆因缘。。。

2008-11-10T12:22:00.000+09:00

“缘”将成为我和朋友们永远的回忆。。无论它是快乐还是不愉快的。。希望以后我们会再度因缘而相聚。。。

毕业咯。。。

2008-11-10T11:12:00.000+09:00

在建国的六年时光确实让人很怀念，那些日子充满了甜酸苦辣，是造就我的地方，尤其是高三的生活让我更坚强了。。。
高三的生活充满了问题，哪些问题就像把刀一次又一次插进我的心里，所以那些生活是充满泪水的。。但依然很怀念。。
说实话，现在的我还不是在最佳状态，但我渐渐对心里的伤口说再见。。但毕竟我还是个执着的人，所以需要比较长的时间去让我的伤口愈合，但我会加油的。。
今年所以上的问题其实比我想象的还多，也出乎我的意料，从以为自己可以与青队共同进退，到后来不知何事被朋友判死刑，与朋友拥有了隔阂，都让我极难受。。我从一个只会用哭面对这些事的女孩到现在会积极面对，真的要谢谢身边的好朋友给我带来了许多欢乐让我有勇气面对那些伤口。。朋友谢谢你们。。
朋友，这一整年可能我有些事处理的不是很好，但是我不是完美的人，你不能要求我做满意一百分，但我会尽我的全力做到最好。。我也知道有时自己很冲动，甚至做了一些大家不太认可的决定，但有时我在这样的职位上是不允许我有太多的顾虑的，如果得罪你们了我在这里说声抱歉，这是我唯一能做的。。以后如果还有机会让我为你们做事的话我会尽量做你们满意。。
朋友，我也要谢谢你们，谢谢你们改变了我，我也很开心因为我的改变让你们重新接受会我这个朋友，也让我知道我以前是多麽的不堪。。曾经质疑自己的改变是不是好的，一度认为朋友都离我好远，但我知道我的生活里不会只有一个朋友，谢谢朋友们，你们让我知道你们一直都在我身边。。朋友这个角色我自问没有做的很好但我会努力的。。。等我啊。。。
青队，对不起我只能在精神上支持你们了，因为我答应过自己不会再回去帮忙或做任何事。。。我不想再去触碰心里的伤口。。。但我相信你们会做得很好。。
朋友们对我这个人你们放心吧。。现在的我知道自己要的是什么，不在茫然。。也不会在用泪水解决事情。。。而且我也会把我今年领悟到的“朋友”的定义，永远保存着。。。
对自己说：我不会再像以前那样过于执着与在乎，看开一点，做事时会用“谅解”为基本。。身边人要珍惜，因为相聚的光阴不会是永远的。。我要慢慢挥别“冲动”，而让“冷静”取代。。